Saturday, October 30, 2010

...A human is a human being..

In my 30 years of life I learned one things "a human is a human being". No matter how far we go, how hard we try to make a polish image of ourselves, at the end of a day we are simple naked ape with all instincts that other animals have: food, territory, mating, survival.. No matter how hard we try to show ourselves as saint or a bully we all have that naked ape inside, smiling at us.
I knew a girle, educated and from a good family who was in love with a skinny unemployed heroine addicted man for 3 years till the man die of overdose and a police found his body in a ditch.
I knew a successful businessman who had a lovely girlfriend for two years until that lovely girl realized he had a wife.  
I knew a girl who was cheating on her husband for 6 years ; all of their close friends and her family knew about it until someone voluntiered to let the poor husband knew.
I knew a man who had a sex-addicted wife, slept with many of his cousins and he has no clue.
I knew a highly educated boy, funny, smart and sporty who one day for no reason decided to kiss a random girl's boobies in an elevator.
I've been surprised in a positive or negative way by people around me. I am sure all of us has some similar stories. At some point in my life I realized that I could never be able to know someone good enough so that he/she would never surprise me. At some point in my life I stopped making a certain image of people I meet in my life. I told to my self "a human is a human" and anyone can do anything. But to tell you the truth still I am being surprised once in a while. Then I am reminding myself "Hiva, a human is a human being".
You might be be surprised one day even by yourself.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes I feel I am a leaf that strong wind drags me here and there. I can't stop it, I can't cling on anything; my hands are too slippery. I am just flying with this wind. Sometimes work takes over my life, from dawn to dusk. Right then I feel like being drown. Feel like a paralyzed person who can't stop and watch the flock of birds migrating and dream a little bit. Is it because I am a woman? Is it because I am Hiva?
I love working, I love being independent but you have to pay the price your freedom!
I love blogging and the fact that the gap between each post getting bigger and bigger upsets me. While working I am watching people around me and imagine writing about this and that incidents in here. When I am home I just can't put myself together to write. Blogging for me is Like praying..mediation..reviewing my day, reviewing my feeling..being honest with myself and spit it out in here..
List of things in my head...defense, car light engine which has been on forever, my family I haven't seen them more than a year...etc
Life is too short..I can live with a Mazda which its gas consumption is more that a SUV but I can't live without having my family in real term..something more than a voice through few phone calls or few photos through emails. I need a practical solution.